On the inside
by deLattre
Summary: Patton was one of the few people to know her well. A prequel to Operation REDISCOVERY.


Patton stood outside the sugar hall of the Moonbase's cafeteria. She was in the same place where she always was-at the center of the room, seated at a prominent table. This was Fanny's personal table-it was made of glazed mahogany and furnished with exotic flowers and a deck of cards. Hardly anyone ever joined her. But that was her doing-access to her table was by invitation only. Anyone who broke the rule was a given a choice: five minutes in the sparring room with Fanny (this option was only available to boys), or a twenty-four hour suspension from the Kids Next Door. Patton had tried to get her to open up on several occasions.

"At least give it a try. You might make some friends that way." he had suggested the last time, two months ago.

"Thanks, Numbuh 60. But I really don't need friends. I'm happy the way I am."

Was that true? Patton wasn't sure. He liked to think that it was simply tough talk. She certainly acted differently around him and Numbuh Three. And she had flashes of sincerity and embarrassment whenever the subject of birthday party came up in a conversation. But Fanny never followed up these flashes with action, which seemed to confirm her statement. Either that, or she didn't know how.

People entering the Sugar Hall wondered why the Arctic Base commander was just standing there, gazing through the doors' glass panels. But he didn't feel like going in yet. Was it the pleasure of anticipation or shyness? Probably shyness. He had certain things to say, but he wasn't sure how to say them.

In her defense, she'd held the most thankless, alienating job in the KND for nearly three years. And she hadn't asked for it either. She had landed the position in the same way Supreme Leaders were chosen-through a game of tag. She could have quit, like her six predecessors. But that would have meant going back to her nursing job, which she hated with a passion. Besides, Fanny liked to set herself big challenges. As he'd explained during their first non-professional conversation (if Patton recalled correctly, the conversation in question had occurred three hundred eighty-five days after they'd first made contact), she tried to 'swim against the tide' as much as possible. And then there was the fateful incident from two years ago. Fanny had just won the KND's annual hand-to-hand combat competition. Feeling humiliated and resentful, one of the losing boys had framed Fanny for the theft of priceless heirloom belonging to the Supreme Leader. None of the organization's boys had come to her defense, and as a result she had been severely punished. Since then, Fanny had hated boys almost as much as the villains she fought.

Was that why he liked her? Because she was complex. No, not really. He was attracted to her confrontational attitude and ambition. He also liked the fact that in several ways they were different. While Fanny was fascinated by political history and math puzzles, he felt much more at ease playing frisbee or diplomacy. While he was better able to control his anger and detect sarcasm, she outclassed him when it came to anticipating events.

But enough of this internal monologue. His break was slipping away: he needed to return to the Arctic Base in fifteen minutes. Pushing through the doors, he marched to Fanny's table and grabbed a seat.

"Mind if I join you, Numbuh 86?"

Heavily absorbed by a book-Machiavelli's _the Art of War_-she didn't look up. "Yeah, sure. Have a seat."

Patton felt his lips curl into a smirk. She must have noticed, because next thing he knew she raised her head and glared at him suspiciously. "What's so funny?"

Patton could have told her the real reason-in fact he wanted to-but that would send her into a rage. For now, it was best to play it safe. "Nothing." He said lightly. "It's just that you've read that book a million times already. Is it that interesting?"

"Well duh!" exclaimed the Scottish girl. "It explains how to be respected, how to get the upper hand in negotiations, how to launch diversionary operations, all the things I need to know. I owe my success as a Global Tactical Officer to this book."

"Do you think you were a successful Global Tactical Officer, then?"

She crossed her arms. "Of course. After I took anger management therapy, I never failed to handle meself well in emergency." Her voice was smug, as usual, but for once he also picked up a hint of cautiousness.

"Never?" repeated Patton, intrigued.

"Never. Ya can ask Numbuh Five if you don't believe me."

Fanny watched Patton leave to get some cookies. She was actually glad he'd dropped by, though she would never tell him that. A conversation with him was always enjoyable. Not just because he was courteous, though that helped, but because he possessed endless reserves of wit and humor. He was invariably able to bounce back her reproaches, like an expert ping pong player, and was a masterful imitator. In fact, Patton and Fanny had been playing a game for several years now on the KND monitors (when they were bored): it consisted of seeing how long Fanny could hold out without the boy making her laugh. They still played it now. Rachel had made them stop, but Abby was considerably more obliging. To top it off, he was one of the few people who didn't bow down to her atrocious temper, even though she could easily beat him in a fight. It was too bad Patton was such a rarity among boys. If more people were like him, she wouldn't be lonely as she was now. Not that the issue really bothered her. What mattered was obtaining exceptional power and respect, and in the process pushing back one's intellectual limits. But having more friends would have been a pleasant bonus.

Soon enough the arctic base commander returned with two plates of chocolate glazed munchkins in hand.

"Terrible news. We're out of cookies. These people are such pigs, they don't even wait until senior operatives have had their share. I got us some donuts instead."

"Hmmhh. It doesn't matter, really." Fanny considered. She had more important concerns than cookies or donuts these days. But she took a plate anyway.

"You're welcome." said Patton.

"Numbuh 60, Numbuh Five here. " Patton jumped, startled by the sound of Numbuh Five's voice.

"Sorry to interrupt, pretty boy, but you left your comlink on."

"Woops. Sorry, sir."

"No problem." chuckled the Supreme Leader. "Although Numbuh Five ain't sure what you see in Numbuh 86."

"I can't really talk about this now, sir. Let's just say that I know what I'm doing."

"Okay; it's your life. Numbuh Five out."

"Who was that?" asked Fanny, arching an eyebrow.

"The Supreme Leader. Is it just me, or is she a little snobbish?"

Fanny shook her head eagerly. "It's not just you. She really likes popular kids. Ya know, last week, we needed to appoint a mission control chief to replace Numbuh 36. I wanted to pick Numbuh 100. He had it all: he's hard-working and well-organized. And he's pretty intelligent. But no, the Supreme Leader went with Numbuh 20!"

"Numbuh 20? Oh right. The girl who came up with the idea of senior holiday retreats."

"Yeah!" the Global Tactical Officer continued angrily. "All the senior operatives love her for that. Numbuh Five says that her teamwork skills are better than Numbuh 100's, but I don't believe her. And that sort of thing happens nine out of ten times.

"And that's not all." added Patton. "When she took the job, she tried to implement uniforms, remember? I mean seriously, uniforms! What's next, a curfew?!

Fanny giggled, although more at Patton's dumbfounded tone than the memory. She definitely hadn't been amused when Abby had attempted to push through her uniform plan. "But to be fair", she considered, pooling into her reserves of maturity, "she has done a good job as Supreme Leader. Not as good as Rachel, but pretty close."

"I don't know, Fanny. I think you're probably biased against Numbuh 5, since you liked Rachel more."

She paused in thought for a few seconds, then shrugged. "Maybe. Anyways, I need to get back to work. Nice talking to ya, Nu-Patton."

He sat up, suddenly alarmed. "Wait, don't go! I need to tell you something."

"What, what is it?" asked Fanny.

Patton's mind scrambled to get his request right. This wasn't like giving a lecture to cadets. He couldn't afford any mistakes here. "All right, look. I was wondering. Are you doing anything Friday night?"

His heart hammered against his ribcage, but the answer came quickly and casually. "Friday night? Some cousins of mine are coming over. Why?"

"Well, I was wondering I you wanted to go watch a movie with me?" He exhaled slowly. _That was easier than I thought._

She stared at him, clearly nonplussed. "Ya mean, go on a date?"

"Yes!"

The proposal was so unexpected and satisfying that, before she could stop herself, Fanny cracked a wide smile. But only for a second-then common sense regained control. "I'd love to. But what's the point? We won't remember each other after we're decommissioned."

"Yes, we will!" argued Patton emphatically. "The decommissioning process only erases KND-related memories. Which means that if we go on a date, we'll remember it."

Fanny carefully considered the proposal. What did they have to lose by trying? "All right look. I need to ask my parents. I think they'll let me go, but I can't make any promises."

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." he nodded. Then his lips curled in a smirk again. "Fanny Pants."

The effect was instantaneous. Fanny shot up like a firecracker, fists clenched. "_What_ did ya call me?!"

"Ahh, what's the matter? You don't like being called Fanny Pants?" taunted the boy. For unbeknownst to anyone except Kuki, Patton, and her family 'Fanny Pants' was the one name Fanny hated more than 'toots'.

"You know I hate that name. Take it back!"

"You'll have to catch me first!" And with that Patton raced towards the door.

Quickly Fanny gave chase. "Stupid boy!" she yelled. "When I get my hands on you ye're gonna be seeing stars for a week!" A voice deep inside her said that she being stupid, that it was silly to get so worked up over a name. But it was drowned out by anger: how dare he betray her trust and mock her?

"You'll never catch me, Fanny Pants!" Patton called over his shoulder. Needless to say, if she did catch him, he would be in hot water. But so what? Right now, he was having too much fun to care.

**Comments? Suggestions? Bring them on!**


End file.
